Untitled

I'm not sure what to title what I've been feeling this past week.  There are so many emotions I've been carrying around in my head.  Most of them are about my daughter who has autism.  As much as we're trying to improve her quality of life (and that of our family) it is a long and winding road that is filled with many twists and turns.  Lots of times, I feel like we're sliding back down but we keep on pushing forward.

Now is the time where most teens are taking their permits and getting drivers licenses; getting boyfriends/girlfriends and figuring out their choices after high school.  Well its different here.  I'm trying to cope with the alternative.  As a mom of a beautiful young lady who has a debilitating disability, yes I think autism is debilitating; my heart breaks a thousand times a day knowing that everything is different for her and for us.

Deep down I know there will be many more disappointments for all of us.  Its hard to remain positive but its really all I've got.   What helps me move forward is my commitment to P90X.  I'm on Day 62 and so grateful to be involved in such a great program.  I'd hate to think where I'd be mentally, physically and emotionally.

I weighed in at Weight Watchers this morning and was down another 1.2 lbs. and I'm getting closer to my goal.  Today I was able to fit into a pair of pants that I've been waiting on for almost a year.  Being involved with Weight Watchers and doing P90X has provided me with a tremendous amount of accountability.  Without it I know I would have spiraled out of control and succumbed to stress eating.  I have developed some good strategies and habits which help me deal with my emotions without using food as a means to sooth myself. 

I have realized that I must accept that this is and always will be my life.  I must choose to make the best of it each day. 

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling. -Margaret Lee Runbeck